Well, hello world! I have finally been convinced to create a blog for a few reasons, which is all superfluous information. However, I suppose a blog in total is superfluous information considering its complete voluntary attribute.
Anyways, to start it out I suppose I wanted to address a topic which seems to have been coming up often in my life as of late. People, and by people I mean those who I have been in direct close contact with through discussion and other means of discourse, have consistently, although more frequently in recent weeks, told me that I'm too nice or that I simply can't say no, that I'm just so sweet and do so much for others as opposed to for myself. So, I'll go out on a limb here and admit I probably do these sorts of things more than I should and that I do things not necessarily thinking about all the steps and therefore effects that these acts of kindness may have on me, but I would like to attempt to explain myself.
Helping others makes me happy. Living for the betterment of others and working to see others grow and thrive makes me feel that I am doing good, using good as a noun here. I enjoy doing things for others whether it be something small like calling someone to ask how they have been doing or going and picking up chocolate chips from the kosher market down the street or something a bit bigger like driving to one of the other universities in the state to pick up a friend and bring them back to Phoenix or planning and putting on some sort of program for one of the many organizations I have become involved in.
I do admit that I can take on too much at times, but really, what bounds are there on happiness and service? That is the discussion I currently am inquiring of. What is it that makes a request too much when it is something that is needed? If one desires to help another, and takes joy from it, how much is too much? Is that joy selfish (under the definition of egotistical, not the definition being pertaining to an individual)?
Here is a quote that I have come to love in quite a short time which I think encompasses much of my thoughts and philosophy on life and happiness:
If we want to know what happiness is we must seek it, not as if it were a part of gold at the end of the rainbow, but among human beings who are living richly and fully the good life. If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double Dahlias in his garden. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar gold button that has rolled under the cupboard in his bed room. He will have become aware that he is happy in the course of living 24 crowded hours of the day. If you live only for yourself you are always an immediate danger of being bored to death with the repetition of your own views and interests. No one has learned the meaning of living until he has surrendered his ego to the service of his fellowmen. If your ambition has the momentum of an express train at full speed, if you can no longer stop your mad rush for glory, power, or intellectual supremacy, try to divert your energies into socially useful channels before it is too late.
For those who seek the larger happiness and greater effectiveness open to human beings there can be but one philosophy of life, a philosophy of constructive altruism. The truly happy man is always a fighting optimist. Optimism includes not only altruism but also social responsibility, social courage and objectivity. The good life demands a working philosophy as an orientating map of conduct. This is the golden way of life. This is the satisfying life. This is the way to be happy though human. -W. Beran Wolfe
All comments and thoughts are welcome. I long for discourse on the ideas of life.
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I am so excited to be your first follower!! :-) My posts are much simpler and less deep!! Love you!
ReplyDeleteI posted a somewhat longer reply here:
ReplyDeletehttp://jewishscientist.wordpress.com
As much as I think constructive altruism is a brilliant concept that really needs more attention and discussion... it really must be a "remainder" philosophy, i.e., it concerns "the remainder" of your time/energy/focus. Think about a Chabad rabbi and it's easy to quickly consider their most incredible sacrifice and their most incredible altruism -- but think about two things in addition. 1) Their service is fueled by an incredible backbone of support within their families, their communities, and their faith in Hashem and devotion to the Rebbe, and 2) They still take care of themselves and their own families first. You can't help anyone else if you can't stand up to help them, no matter how rewarding it may be in the end, you still need to get there on your own two feet.
By helping others, you are helping yourself.
ReplyDeleteBy neglecting yourself, you are helping no one.
By helping no one, you will never know happiness.
Like everything in life, it's all about balance. Having too much of one thing (attribute, object, feeling) is never good.