Last week, a mutual friend of ours had a death in the family. The death happened to be that of a child. My friend said, "It shouldn't be so though... Hashem (one name referring to G-d) had bigger and better plans for them somewhere else, no?" We often say this about anyone who we feel hasn't lived a "full" life, and from my experience, that is anyone who is under the age of 60, if not 70.
As for my experience, I have had someone die in my life every three years like clock work, but occasionally closer together. So far this year, I personally have known four people who have died, all of which fall into that "hasn't lived a full life" category. The youngest was 10 and the oldest was 46. Cause of death ranged from unknown to leukemia, but the reason behind the death doesn't make the pain that we feel any less.
One of my mentors told me right after the death of my best friend, "We mourn for the living, meaning the person we're grieving for is dead, what is mourning going to do for them?" As blunt and disheartening as that may sound, I feel it may be true. We mourn, sit shiva (Jewish mourning period and rituals associated with that), disassociate, a variety of different things, but those are all for us.
On a different note, why would Hashem pick certain people over others? Why the young? Why the innocent? My best friend was my age when she died for unknown reasons. She was majoring in early childhood development with a minor in special education. She was very active in her church and school, and easily could be described as a good, loving, compassionate, sweet, kind, honest, loyal (the list goes on) individual. What possibly could she have accomplished in her short nineteen years?
Oh, but she did so much. My question then becomes, if she had already done so much in nineteen short years, why not capitalize on that? Why not lengthen the time she would have had to do more?
So I suppose I strayed a bit from the questions I wanted to inquire about. Death: Can we ever have an understanding as to the when? the why? What are we meant to take away from death?
My response to the last question is the cliche term to live life as if there was no tomorrow, but to dream as if you would live forever. My friend then asked who actually does this? I responded nearly no one, but if it makes you in the least bit aware of what you are doing day in and day out and making those moments worth while, then it's worth it.
Thoughts?
We always seek a way to explain death. No longer being able to communicate with someone important to us is something that can be a very hard fact to deal with, thus we proclaim "There must be a reason!"
ReplyDeleteTruth is, I don't think people die because it's "their time." People die because of scientific reasons not because G-d "has bigger plans for them." This faulty idea of G-d controlling who lives and who dies goes strongly against the idea of free will.
I'm all for religion and everything it offers others and myself but I'm also a firm believer that G-d has very little control over how we behave and act. We can't pick and choose what we are responsible for here on Earth. If someone dies at a young age in...let's say...a car accident, it's not G-d's doing. It's the person driving the car. If a person dies from leukemia (like my father) it's not G-d's doing, it's the bacteria/virus/whatever.
There are many choices and aspects of our lives that G-d can put in front of us and influence. Death is not one of them.
So how would you define G-d? You are putting limitations on G-d by saying that he is not in control of this aspect of life, that death is not something G-d has power over, which would mean G-d is not omnipotent, omnibenevolent, and omniscient, in which case why would we praise G-d as being the ultimate creator being all good, knowing, and able if he isn't?
ReplyDeleteIt's not that G-d CAN'T control that aspect of our lives. It's that he chooses not to. At least, in my oppinion. Like I said before, he gives us the option to choose. Through giving us the oppurtunity to choose how we live life, it makes it that more awesome when we make the correct descisions. In the end, that choice is what defines us as human beings.
ReplyDeleteThis applies to death because most of the time the WRONG descisions lead there. Now, I don't think that people CHOOSE to get diseases and die from them. Obviously not. However, disease was something that was created by humans. Much of the diseases that exist in this world exist that way. I don't think G-d created disease...I think he could have...so therefore he is still omnieverything, but I believe humans were the creators of disease. And in the end, I think that makes humans the main reason why people die. Not that G-d has some other plan for them.