"Dependency is death to initiative, to risk-taking and opportunity."
So I've been in Israel now for a little over 24 hours, and something has become very apparent to me. My family has become dependent on me here. This is a very new feeling and not one I'm sure I'm completely comfortable with. My father mentioned to a friend I ran into within 3 hours of being here that the only reason they brought me was to translate. Now I'm not sure if he was completely joking or not.
I've found myself asking for directions for them, translating restaurant menus, reading street signs, converting shekels to dollars (isn't my brother's strong suit math? not mine?), all sorts of things. And when I jokingly asked what would they do without me, like when I go off with my friends, they, very seriously, replied that if the other person doesn't speak English, they'll just leave.
My question then aims at how to categorize this. Is it ignorance? Lack of desire to be adventurous? What? I decided on dependency. Their dependency on having something, or someone in this case, bridge the gap is what causes them to have experiences and take opportunities that would otherwise would cease to exist in their minds.
Should one be dependent? I pride myself in being independent, to a fault even. My friends will agree, and even question if that in and of itself is simply independence or stubbornness. However, lately I've found myself becoming more and more dependent on others. Maybe I'm just realizing it, but I really am beginning to notice the level of dependency I have on those around me. Is this right? Should I be dependent? Is it within human nature as social creatures to be so? Or could we be like Walden and live off in a cabin by ourselves as hermits?
I do agree with the opening quote, that being too dependent will cause one to miss out and have life fly by him. But what level of dependency, if any, is appropriate? What/who should we depend on? Is there any right or wrong way to go about it? More at a foundational level, is dependency an issue of being right or wrong?
Would love to hear what y'all have to say about this. It certainly has been mulled over in my mind.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Dependency itself probably isn't either good or bad. Your parents' over-reliance on your skills is clearly bothering you though, so that's surely not a good thing. Unfortunately, it seems we really can't change our parents, and I'm not sure if we can truly know whether your father really brought you along for the purpose of a convenient translator or because you're his child and he loves you. But you're there, and the most respectful thing you can do is try to help them out as you are and hope that even if their intentions weren't the best, that perhaps they'll enjoy the trip more and then come to know their daughter in a new positive light. But that's wishful and uncertain. You're not interested in that, are you? You want philosophy! So back to dependency. I've seen it kill relationships faster than anything else; of course though, even though the relationship has died, the couple usually goes on with things as though it were still alive and it's all rather gruesome to friends and bystanders. On the other hand, being *able* to depend on someone is one of these incredibly rare and wonderful experiences, almost as rare and wonderful as getting the privilege of being the one depended on. So where is the middle ground? When does dependence become abuse? When does intimacy become routine?
ReplyDeleteHaha, you know me, I want to get to the heart of the matter! The whole point of this blog is to discuss philosophy and all the aspects of it!
ReplyDeleteI suppose the best way to go about anything is in moderation. Too much of a good thing is just as bad as anything bad. So would that make it relative to each individual? Or can there be a sort of scale to judge?
This post I think also goes hand in hand with the first one on happiness. I definitely allow others to be dependent on me and like to help others. That brings me joy. However, am I being abused in this way or is there some loophole? Am I just a sucker for punishment?
I'm not quite sure I fully understand your last question. Define intimacy please?